hello again ^_^
i've been taking more time away from my keyboard to spend with loved ones, while also focusing on things that matter to my mental state, such as keeping my room clean and prioritizing self-care. i've been doing a good job at keeping my mind from finding reasons to get anxious, something it does when i don't feel productive or stay happy for too long. that might sound sorta bad but in reality i've been listening to it and approaching it with logic and compassion, telling myself things like "while all of those things are concerning, you are more than capable of tackling them at a slow but steady pace, and eventually you will meet your goals one by one." it wasn't easy getting to this point, and i may relapse into my old habits of anxiety and self-doubt, but i've accepted that as part of the process. i'm still healing.
i had been testing some ideas for my new stuff, but today i went in a different direction. every time i try to create a new site, i end up copying large chunks of a better site's code. this bothers me because i want to enjoy the fruits of my own effort, not someone else's. i will admit, this site started out as a template, but it has undergone so many drastic changes it is almost indistinguishable in every way. but, i digress. my intention is to keep improving upon this site, in private, until i am satisfied, in which case i will upload the whole thing to neocities. otherwise, i will start over from scratch.
i saw the barbie movie. it was enjoyable. it felt like an ad trying to be more than an ad. ryan gosling and margot robbie were great casting choices. a good comedy, with some feels. it's worth seeing. probably more fun and creative than other movies in theaters here right now, anyways. i still have some qualms, but organizing my thoughts is hard right now. my partner was/is really into barbie, and it made them emotional, so it'll remain special to me for that reason.